Comments on: I miss you Felicia http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/ thoughts from Heather Gold Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:12:16 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Marcus Cole http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-122838 Marcus Cole Fri, 09 May 2008 20:12:10 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-122838 As Mother's Day approaches, I have been thinking about Felicia, and praying for her children and John. I was deeply saddened and stunned by Felicia's passing. I remember with fondness our time in law school, especially our time on the Student Bar Association. She was so smart and so much fun. She was refreshingly radical, but also very responsible. She had a presence that filled the room. I pray for John and her children, and they have our deepest sympathy and condolences. As Mother's Day approaches, I have been thinking about Felicia, and praying for her children and John. I was deeply saddened and stunned by Felicia's passing. I remember with fondness our time in law school, especially our time on the Student Bar Association. She was so smart and so much fun. She was refreshingly radical, but also very responsible. She had a presence that filled the room.
I pray for John and her children, and they have our deepest sympathy and condolences.

]]> By: Kathleen Egan http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-112008 Kathleen Egan Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:09:54 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-112008 I am so saddened and stunned to hear of Felice's passing. I work in the Pelham Library where Felice came in often with her two daughters. She also led the library's story time on numerous occasions. Though I was not a close friend of hers it was easy to see many of the traits all of you have spoken of. She was so friendly and easy to talk to. My children are a lot older then Felice's but we would often joke about the joys of motherhood. It was more then apparent that she idolized both of her daughters. It seems to me that little Lilly shares many of her mother's traits. She's a little firecracker that I always got a kick out of anytime she came in with Felice. My deepest sympathy and condolences to her family and friends. I am so saddened and stunned to hear of Felice's passing. I work in the Pelham Library where Felice came in often with her two daughters. She also led the library's story time on numerous occasions. Though I was not a close friend of hers it was easy to see many of the traits all of you have spoken of. She was so friendly and easy to talk to. My children are a lot older then Felice's but we would often joke about the joys of motherhood. It was more then apparent that she idolized both of her daughters. It seems to me that little Lilly shares many of her mother's traits. She's a little firecracker that I always got a kick out of anytime she came in with Felice. My deepest sympathy and condolences to her family and friends.

]]> By: Sarah Freedman http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-110255 Sarah Freedman Sun, 13 Apr 2008 02:38:42 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-110255 I have never written a blog before but all of you who are writing here have moved me to try to make a contribution. Also, I think these thoughts and pictures of "life with Mom" will become precious to Felicia's and John's girls, giving them memories that they might otherwise loose. And so I write to add to the memories. First, I didn't know Felicia as well as most of you did, even though I'm her cousin (kind of a distant one--I'm a second cousin of Ike's--his grandmother and my grandfather, who died before I was born, were brother and sister). I was always intrigued by that part of the family--the Cuban Jewish side--a little exotic for a girl from North Carolina. I got to know Gilda, Felicia's aunt, before Felicia was born, but I didn't meet Ike until long after, when it turned out that we both had daughters living in NY, on the upper east side, and they had had their first baby girls at the same time. These commonalities, added to the fact that Ike and Sherry had moved to the Bay Area, where we have lived for many years, allowed us to develop a closeness. We wanted our daughters (mine is Rachel Berg) to get to know each other. Felicia and Rachel it turned out had lots in common, but one of those things was the fact the neither was interested in contacting the other just because there was some distant kinship and just because their parents suggested that they meet. Fortunately, within a short time, their paths crossed, unbeknownst to them. Many of you have written about Felicia's feistiness and her deeply help opinions and her love of a good argument--and ironically Rachel and Felicia met because they got into an argument, each of taking her side seriously. Rachel called me to help her find some references on whether working moms do damage to their kids (Rachel argued that working didn't cause harm--and she chose to stay at home, I always thought, because she thought my working was harmful to her!--and Felicia said working did do damage--and so many of you characterize her as a feminists' feminist--Rachel's first impression was that she was an arch conservative!). When Rachel called me to find out about the research on the topic, she described her need to be prepared because of her formidable opponent--a lawyer with a daughter named Rachel whose name was Felicia. It clicked for me then that this must be the cousin. Once they figured out their relationship together and on their own terms and once they really started to talk and get to know one another, they became fast friends, learning that they had much in common. Rachel says that Felicia taught her the valuable life lesson of not jumping to conclusions about people too soon. I had what now is precious little time with Felicia over the years, when I visited NY. I loved how the two cousins found so much in common--across years and generations. I love now that Rachel had the gift of Felicia's friendship, even if all too briefly. For Rachel and Lilly, you had a great mom, one who valued family and who knew how to be her own person. I hope you will stay close to your New York cousins, who are about your age and who in some way are links to your mom. And I hope you and they find your own ways to benefit from her larger-than-life example of how to live in this complex world of ours. I have never written a blog before but all of you who are writing here have moved me to try to make a contribution. Also, I think these thoughts and pictures of "life with Mom" will become precious to Felicia's and John's girls, giving them memories that they might otherwise loose. And so I write to add to the memories. First, I didn't know Felicia as well as most of you did, even though I'm her cousin (kind of a distant one–I'm a second cousin of Ike's–his grandmother and my grandfather, who died before I was born, were brother and sister). I was always intrigued by that part of the family–the Cuban Jewish side–a little exotic for a girl from North Carolina. I got to know Gilda, Felicia's aunt, before Felicia was born, but I didn't meet Ike until long after, when it turned out that we both had daughters living in NY, on the upper east side, and they had had their first baby girls at the same time. These commonalities, added to the fact that Ike and Sherry had moved to the Bay Area, where we have lived for many years, allowed us to develop a closeness. We wanted our daughters (mine is Rachel Berg) to get to know each other. Felicia and Rachel it turned out had lots in common, but one of those things was the fact the neither was interested in contacting the other just because there was some distant kinship and just because their parents suggested that they meet. Fortunately, within a short time, their paths crossed, unbeknownst to them. Many of you have written about Felicia's feistiness and her deeply help opinions and her love of a good argument–and ironically Rachel and Felicia met because they got into an argument, each of taking her side seriously. Rachel called me to help her find some references on whether working moms do damage to their kids (Rachel argued that working didn't cause harm–and she chose to stay at home, I always thought, because she thought my working was harmful to her!–and Felicia said working did do damage–and so many of you characterize her as a feminists' feminist–Rachel's first impression was that she was an arch conservative!). When Rachel called me to find out about the research on the topic, she described her need to be prepared because of her formidable opponent–a lawyer with a daughter named Rachel whose name was Felicia. It clicked for me then that this must be the cousin. Once they figured out their relationship together and on their own terms and once they really started to talk and get to know one another, they became fast friends, learning that they had much in common. Rachel says that Felicia taught her the valuable life lesson of not jumping to conclusions about people too soon.

I had what now is precious little time with Felicia over the years, when I visited NY. I loved how the two cousins found so much in common–across years and generations. I love now that Rachel had the gift of Felicia's friendship, even if all too briefly.

For Rachel and Lilly, you had a great mom, one who valued family and who knew how to be her own person. I hope you will stay close to your New York cousins, who are about your age and who in some way are links to your mom. And I hope you and they find your own ways to benefit from her larger-than-life example of how to live in this complex world of ours.

]]> By: subvert » I remember Felice http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-109269 subvert » I remember Felice Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:41:00 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-109269 [...] my blog post [...] [...] my blog post [...]

]]> By: Margaret Young http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-109223 Margaret Young Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:59:52 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-109223 I am a friend and neighbor of Felicia's. In the 3 1/2 short years she lived in our myopic little town she had a really profound impact. I'm writing here to get the word out to pre-Pelham friends that we're putting together a memory book for the family. I can print things out from the blog or your can email me directly at youngm@broadwaterllc.com. The family will want to know who the initial contributor is? Can someone tell me Heather's last name? For those of you who couldn't join us yesterday for the funeral and burial, it was immensely sad - the image of her plain, pine coffin being lowered in to the ground, and all of us helping to shovel dirt on top of it. It's a searing memory that may be with me forever. She was surrounded by immense love to the very end. I am a friend and neighbor of Felicia's. In the 3 1/2 short years she lived in our myopic little town she had a really profound impact. I'm writing here to get the word out to pre-Pelham friends that we're putting together a memory book for the family. I can print things out from the blog or your can email me directly at youngm@broadwaterllc.com. The family will want to know who the initial contributor is? Can someone tell me Heather's last name?

For those of you who couldn't join us yesterday for the funeral and burial, it was immensely sad - the image of her plain, pine coffin being lowered in to the ground, and all of us helping to shovel dirt on top of it. It's a searing memory that may be with me forever. She was surrounded by immense love to the very end.

]]> By: lisa robb http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-108980 lisa robb Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:52:28 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-108980 I am so thankful that Elaine, Felicia's across the street neighbor, alerted me to this blog. I know Felicia from Pelham, NY or Pelshire as we called it. We would have long, loud conversations over our coffees (she stopped working to give those little ladies bundles of unconditional love each and every day). I live and work in the tiny village at the teeny Art Center, which she stormed the first year she moved here. We would chuckle - marooned in semi-urbia, ok, SUBURBIA! Her email stepfordmom said it all - her humor deep, her character deep, her civic engagement deep, her intelligence deep, her humility deep, her love for her man and her girls - the deepest. The depth of our disbelief knows no measure. Life's mysteries can be wonderous or devastating. I am so happy to have known her and relished when we could get together so I could be bathed, enveloped in her excitement, her fearlessness, her candor. Hard to let go. I head to her home tonight to sit shiva. Tears spill and this grief just keeps coming. I am so thankful that Elaine, Felicia's across the street neighbor, alerted me to this blog. I know Felicia from Pelham, NY or Pelshire as we called it. We would have long, loud conversations over our coffees (she stopped working to give those little ladies bundles of unconditional love each and every day). I live and work in the tiny village at the teeny Art Center, which she stormed the first year she moved here. We would chuckle - marooned in semi-urbia, ok, SUBURBIA! Her email stepfordmom said it all - her humor deep, her character deep, her civic engagement deep, her intelligence deep, her humility deep, her love for her man and her girls - the deepest. The depth of our disbelief knows no measure. Life's mysteries can be wonderous or devastating. I am so happy to have known her and relished when we could get together so I could be bathed, enveloped in her excitement, her fearlessness, her candor. Hard to let go. I head to her home tonight to sit shiva. Tears spill and this grief just keeps coming.

]]> By: Michele http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-108756 Michele Wed, 09 Apr 2008 10:14:17 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-108756 Felicia was a very close friend of mine. We shared our thoughts and feelings about all things great and small, many times a day. I cannot count the amount of times in the past few days that I have wanted to call her and discuss what is going on regarding her own death. I see her children and I just want to hug them and tell them how great their mom was. I want to tell them how much she loved them, but I am sure they know that, after all Felicia was their mom. Her death is shocking and senseless. The loss is intense and palpable, I miss her immensely. I have written this message on the other blog as well, I cannot help but repeat my sentiments here. I miss her. Felicia was a very close friend of mine. We shared our thoughts and feelings about all things great and small, many times a day. I cannot count the amount of times in the past few days that I have wanted to call her and discuss what is going on regarding her own death. I see her children and I just want to hug them and tell them how great their mom was. I want to tell them how much she loved them, but I am sure they know that, after all Felicia was their mom. Her death is shocking and senseless. The loss is intense and palpable, I miss her immensely.
I have written this message on the other blog as well, I cannot help but repeat my sentiments here. I miss her.

]]> By: Matthew Weissman http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-108523 Matthew Weissman Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:38:27 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-108523 Thank you for putting this up. Like everyone, I am shocked and saddened that this special, ALIVE person has been taken so quickly and so young. I worked for several years with John and was lucky enough to get to hang out, if briefly, with Felicia, John and my wife Susan, a literature professor who of course loved Felicia. She will be sorely missed. Thank you for putting this up. Like everyone, I am shocked and saddened that this special, ALIVE person has been taken so quickly and so young. I worked for several years with John and was lucky enough to get to hang out, if briefly, with Felicia, John and my wife Susan, a literature professor who of course loved Felicia. She will be sorely missed.

]]> By: Carolyn Barth Preskill http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-108505 Carolyn Barth Preskill Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:06:02 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-108505 I miss her, too. She was the first person I met in Los Angeles. So kind, full of life, and fabulous. I was going to say "wonderful" but fabulous seems a better fit. Thanks for the blog. It helps. I miss her, too. She was the first person I met in Los Angeles. So kind, full of life, and fabulous. I was going to say "wonderful" but fabulous seems a better fit. Thanks for the blog. It helps.

]]> By: Susan Goldstein http://subvert.com/blog/2008/04/06/i-miss-you-felicia/#comment-108427 Susan Goldstein Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:22:01 +0000 http://subvert.com/blog/?p=468#comment-108427 I've just learned of Felicia's passing only half an hour ago. The thought of a world without her leaves me struggling for breath; I can only imagine what John and the girls are experiencing--rudderlessness, life forevermore without electricity. Felicia was the joyous party lantern in any setting. I can't remember when I met Felicia--shortly before she and John, who I knew in college, were married. She was working for Grais & Philips, and my father's employer was one of their clients. Felicia was assigned to my father, who decided this bright, funny, smart lawyer and his daughter might enjoy meeting each other. Our first conversation, before we actually even laid eyes on each other, we spent laughing uproariously about the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. And I'm not a lawyer. Felicia was on my mind only a few days ago. I had intended to call her to tell her how happy it made me to dress my newborn #2 son in the adorable outfit she sent me when #1 son was born, because it reminded me of her and made the distance between us, me in Missouri and Felicia in New York, seem less huge. It's hard to imagine she's not there. I've just learned of Felicia's passing only half an hour ago. The thought of a world without her leaves me struggling for breath; I can only imagine what John and the girls are experiencing–rudderlessness, life forevermore without electricity. Felicia was the joyous party lantern in any setting. I can't remember when I met Felicia–shortly before she and John, who I knew in college, were married. She was working for Grais & Philips, and my father's employer was one of their clients. Felicia was assigned to my father, who decided this bright, funny, smart lawyer and his daughter might enjoy meeting each other. Our first conversation, before we actually even laid eyes on each other, we spent laughing uproariously about the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. And I'm not a lawyer. Felicia was on my mind only a few days ago. I had intended to call her to tell her how happy it made me to dress my newborn #2 son in the adorable outfit she sent me when #1 son was born, because it reminded me of her and made the distance between us, me in Missouri and Felicia in New York, seem less huge. It's hard to imagine she's not there.

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