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our wedding!, originally uploaded by subvert.com.

My Canadian wife and California fiancee Stacey. We will be *LEGALLY* married in San Francisco like every other couple can now be in the State.

My first call was to my Canadian wife/ California fiancee, my second to the caterer.

Free! Don't need permission! So overoyed!

The Wedding FAQ I wrote after Wedding 1.0 in Canada explaining how I feel about it all and why we are getting married twice.

20 Lesbian Wedding Etiquette tips (jokes) I wrote for Curve.

VOTE this November to ensure the constitutional amendment to save my marriage and stop the anti-gay proposition from amending the California constitution.

An appelate court just recognized a Canadian wedding of 2 women. Does this mean we're married when in NY? I am still thinking I need to go get some power of attorney forms and all that other jazz we have to do to attempt to make up in contract what marriage does.

Can I make a decision for her if, for some yucky reason, she's unconscious in a hospital?

I meant to write this while I was still in the vortex of power and love, but the thing about the vortex of power and love is that it felt so good, I didn't want to do anything like leave it, and that's what thinking would do. 

Now I am thinking a little.

Do you feel any different?

Yes. I feel relentlessly loving toward Stacey. I am not annoyed by anything she does. I have been happy every day. I can now feel the ground beneath my feet. 

We were together 5 and a half years and lived together for 3 before marrying. I never did the lesbian UHaul thing because I had thought moving in together would be the only marker of commitment I would have. Years ago, I didn't think I'd have family support for a marriage and for more years than that I didn't think I'd find someone to marry. I certainly *never* anticipated the possibility that I could get legally married. Now that it's all happened I am amazed at how different I feel. 

Where are the photos? 

 Our excellent documentary photographer Ian Taylor's + few from my sister Wendy + Paul Schreiber's. You are welcome to use Ian's photos, but you must name the people in the photos, credit him and link to his site: iantaylor.ca 

What did it feel like to get married?

(more…)

photo: Ian Taylor

Thank you Canada!

Me: I'm finding the time leading up to our wedding very romantic.

Mum: You guys are doing it the right way. You already know each other. [We've been together for 5 and lived together for 3.] In my day it was "What have I gotten myself into." You can just enjoy it.

Mum is right. In terms of relationships, we're all shareware now. 

In honour of our December 29, 2007 legal wedding 1.0.

1.      1. My mother is obsessed with my wedding. She is obnoxious and annoying. What do I do?  

        Congratulations. This means you are finally being treated like everyone else.

2.      

       2.  I always learned that the parents of the bride pay for the wedding. But there’s two brides? 

         Don’t feel guilty. This is the only time the income disparity between gay men and lesbians is reversed.

3.      

       3. Which one is the man? 

         If you have to ask, neither.

4.      

       4. What gift should we buy? 

         Something expensive. In America, if you buy them enough stuff, the marriage counts.

5.     5.  How do we deal with our interfaith marriage ceremony? 

          Don’t worry about it. Your already going to hell for being gay.

I tried on about 50 dresses on Thursday. This was the best of the lot. You can't see it , but in the back is a bustle with many little fake diamonds all the way down from the waist through the train.

Despite being 70% off, I wasn't sure it was "the one." That's what all the women there call it. The guidance they provide in finding it is that you'll "just know." I guess it's like dating. Oh us women, knowing what we want is so hard.Or perhaps I should be specific. Knowing what I want can be confounding. A lifetime of pleasing in my head got me there.Practical reality helps. It took sitting in one of these dressing rooms a few weeks ago and getting a pep talk from Sonya the older woman in the place to realize i even wanted to try on a wedding dress. This is only the 5th dress I've ever shopped for.I vlogged to ease my shopping anxiety. More to come.

I can count the number of times I've shopped for a dress on one hand. I'm about to go uptown in Manhattan to Saks' Superbowl of wedding dress sales. Alone. I am nervous, but this should be entertaining. I only realized I wanted to feel beautiful at my wedding last week. I've never felt beautiful before.

I wrote you last year to ask you to sign the genter-neutral marriage bill. I am writing again to ask the same thing. I hope I do not have to keep writing you.

I am a gay Californian and registered independent. I am marrying my fiancee in San Francisco next June. Unfortunately we have to have a second wedding in Canada so that we can be legally married. My fiancee and I (and the many other same-sex couples in California) deserve equality and the many legal rights that come with legal marriage, or unions or whatver it is you or the people in your focus groups feel comfortable calling it.

Given that this legislation keeps passing the California legislature, it is obviously the will of the people of California. The only thing I ca see you gaining from vetoing it is help within certain parts of the Republican party in the rest of the country.

Please have some courage and do the right thing. Gay marriage in California is inevitable. Signing this bill now would make history and be an act of true leadership. You were elected by promising not to just be another politician. Please prove it. Take a stand for equality and sign this bill.

Respectfully,

Heather Gold
San Francisco, CA

Yes, this is really the letter I sent.
Please write him too. The bill is Gender Neutral marriage AB000043.

How did you prepare for your wedding?

It can be much easier to co-ordinate with someone at the other end of the country, than in the other room.