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Guide to Lesbian Wedding Etiquette

In honour of our December 29, 2007 legal wedding 1.0.

  1. My mother is obsessed with my wedding. She is obnoxious and annoying. What do I do?

    Congratulations. This means you are finally being treated like everyone else.
  2. I always learned that the parents of the bride pay for the wedding. But there’s two brides?

    Don’t feel guilty. This is the only time the income disparity between gay men and lesbians is reversed.
  3. Which one is the man?

    If you have to ask, neither.
  4. What gift should we buy?

    Something expensive. In America, if you buy them enough stuff, the marriage counts.
  5. How do we deal with our interfaith marriage ceremony?

    Don’t worry about it. You’re already going to hell for being gay.

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