Archive for the “ourselves together” Category

heather + Lt Dan Choi at Meet in the Middle in Fresno

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

It was a thrill to meet Lt Dan who is a powerful speaker and person. He actually saluted me when we said goodbye, then apologized and explained that it was out of habit.

If you somehow don’t already know, he is a West Point grad who’s completed 2 tours of duty in Iraq. He’s about to be discharged under Don’t Asked Don’t Tell even though he’s an Arabic linguist. He’s one of the few people in the military who could actually ask or tell people in Iraq anything.

It was literally 100 degrees. That explains the hair.

What No on 8 should have looked like

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

17 year old James testifies to Vermont Senate on LGBT Equality.

He nails the second class citizenship issue. Nails it. Please excuse my choice of words.

But forget al the abstract crap about civil unions etc. Here is the point: Are we equal or are we inferior?

This is how we need to campaign in California and across the country. And we need to have lots of

meals with other people and talk about it honestly.

Day Without a Gay

Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

This grotesque juxtaposition of robustly funded propaganda vs. cash-strapped social services is the perverse, inexcusable legacy of Proposition Hate and the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” and every related money-wasting act of gay-hostile social, political and emotional terrorism wrought by the American Taliban.

If you have ever used words like “sacred institution” or “redefine marriage” or “threat to family values” without irony or—worse yet—harbored thoughts or cast votes against marriage equality, you are not my friend. You are not welcome in my life. I honestly see you as intellectually compromised. And I don’t care what you think your god tells you to believe. Your mythology does not trump my reality. And if you try to defend your indefensible thoughts or words or actions to me, be prepared to have your vile, repellant opinions reduced to the vile, repellant garbage that they are.

And when I’m done with you, the domestic partner and I will calmly go back to caring for Thomas and working to repair the decades of damage caused by the celebrated heterosexuals who are apparently free to marry and divorce and have affairs and abuse and ignore their own children without generating interest a single constitutional amendment, television ad, campaign platform or even a godfuckingdamned T-shirt by the godfuckingdamned American Taliban.


Read all of Jake’s brilliant post to know the story of he, his partner and Thomas on his blog NoFo. 

Then do something on the streets or online. And if you’re gay, tell your story. Spell out your relationship and the indignities and legal vulnerabilities you’ve faced. In detail. Mine soon.


The blogging equivalent of the wave

Wednesday, February 6th, 2008

In looking at the Obama blog I’m noticing people doing a blogwave, basically posting one letter and then trusting the next person to spell the next letter and so on. Usually Yes We Can!

Has anyone seen this before on a blog? It’s a really interesting method of trust and connection through fun + vulnerability in a digital space.How’s that for analyzing the crap out of something fun. It’s like analyzing a joke, I know. 

Do you really care who solves our problems? Beyond the Binary.

Monday, January 21st, 2008

I don’t. To me this was the entire point of registering Independent. At the time I thought: “Damn, if the Democratic party can’t get a liberal, Jewish, Canadian queer chick like me to register Democrat, they’re in trouble.”But this point, of focussing on our shared problems and doing things to make them better entirely eludes Stanley Fish, who blogged today Against Independent Voters.In his lofty NYT estimation, Independents don’t really want to stand for anything except avoid politics which we hate.  (more…)

Just Married FAQ

Thursday, January 10th, 2008

I meant to write this while I was still in the vortex of power and love, but the thing about the vortex of power and love is that it felt so good, I didn’t want to do anything like leave it, and that’s what thinking would do. 


Now I am thinking a little.


Do you feel any different?

Yes. I feel relentlessly loving toward Stacey. I am not annoyed by anything she does. I have been happy every day. I can now feel the ground beneath my feet. 


We were together 5 and a half years and lived together for 3 before marrying. I never did the lesbian UHaul thing because I had thought moving in together would be the only marker of commitment I would have. Years ago, I didn’t think I’d have family support for a marriage and for more years than that I didn’t think I’d find someone to marry. I certainly *never* anticipated the possibility that I could get legally married. Now that it’s all happened I am amazed at how different I feel. 


Where are the photos? 

 Our excellent documentary photographer Ian Taylor’s + few from my sister Wendy + Paul Schreiber’s. You are welcome to use Ian’s photos, but you must name the people in the photos, credit him and link to his site: 


What did it feel like to get married?


Earnestness (audio podcast)

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

Heather mixes Lawrence Lessig, comedian Aundre the Wonderwoman, marketer Deb Schultz and the “audience” about Earnestness in Politics. Is it possible? What about earnestness at work, in the corporate environment?

Listen to the full 90 minute show.

ourselves together: flagpole sitta

Monday, April 23rd, 2007

I’m starting a new ongoing thingy [otherwise known as a blog category] called ourselves together. My main mission is to create ways /a world/ in which we can be our full selves together. no censoring or conformity. a togetherness of individuals. a world without capitalization.

This is a joyous, beautful video that captures this.

Lip Dub – Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger on Vimeo

It’s made by peeps who work at vimeo and The most subversive element? Being their full joyous selves at work.

You can see from the comments how much we yearn for this.

other things I’ve written about coming out of the closet at work as yourself: work shouldn’t have to suck.
open source management

Flagpole Sitta-Harvey Danger
(this group is also releaseing their new album for free on Bit Torrent and for download)

tip o the noggin to vlogmaster nick douglas for the heads up.

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