I’ve proposed this as a panel at SXSW 09. I’m really looking forward to digging into this conversation with some really interesting feminist scholars and web / network thinkers. This is the last day to vote. If you’d like this conversation to happen at SXSW, please vote for it now and I’ll podcast it too.

There is a really lovely compatibility about the notion of transcendence in both feminism and the Net….both of which give protection and community to those who have been invisible / “private” before.

The Net is quantifying / making visible the value of the social skills / communal skills that have previously gone unvalued by the market or “public” space.

This is inspired, in part, by something else I’m working on: a talk about how I do the performance I do….how to design for conversation rather than presentation all of which changes notions of where authority comes from. This is because the value is relational rather than one-off.

I think it always was..but that aspect was “hidden” by it being a silent piece of “private” life that women mostly carried out….preparing holidays, gatherings..maintaining relationships..creating  and giving physical and other bits of acknowledgement (gifts , cards ..the Christmas newsletter etc) and of course the “salon” which has been a big piece of the basis of how I’ve mashed up a new kind of performance.

There are quite a few ideas embedded in here and for the mag piece..perhaps best to focus on the social networking piece..but that’s just the latest business surfacing of something much deeper..which is the way the West is turning more relational this way…that’s my instinct.

It’s just too costly to market / force awareness of onesself/business without a network effect and any lasting audience/network  can only happen through what is community and community can only be maintained by this “female” stuff.

I found it very interesting in India where these social roles and conventions are still so deeply a part of peoples’ daily lives. I had an unusually deep experience of it myself because of the Niagara Falls shtetl in which I was raised.

I’m excited to see the value of this feminist stuff (as well as performance stuff) in the business arena…though I’m aware that I’m really out on the front edge of explaining and doing much of it..the social media consulting world and facebook shows this stuff to be shifting.

Even though it is sad and a tad ridiculous to me that Michelle Obama had to give the “Look, I don’t have horns” presentation to the nation, nothing in this video is meant to belittle the fact that it is moving to feel:

• we could have an emotionally functional first family
• the joy of a possible first lady whose peace comes from within and not over the counter
• an African-American family take its place on our national stage of power and hold its ground. Finally.
• America begin to realize how much of its bountiful human resource it has been ignoring.

There’s no hack for building trust.

What follows is a story of one chick whose been on the receiving end of some bad bad customer “service.” I wish I hadn’t called. If you can help me pay the insane bill (paypal nosh [at]subvert[dot]com) I shouldn’t have to pay (since I didn’t knowingly order or use these services)  or have the email of a Sr VP of  customer service at Apple or at&t, that would be great. (If I can get the credit from at&t I deserve,  I will return every paypall-ed dollar to you).

I went to visit my family for Passover last month in Toronto. I called at&t while still in the U.S. to ask if there was a way to use my iPhone as a PDA/camera only in Canada. I should place my iPhone on airplane mode so as not to incur charges. He said no.

Let me warn you now, iPhone travelers, that the correct answer is yes.

(more…)

Join me and chief Valleywag Owen Thomas, TMZ.com General Manager Alan Citron, NY Times reporter Shaila Dewan, twitter founder Ev Williams and surprise guest and Star on-air personality Julia Allison as we discuss Gossip at SXSW08.

This carousing panel featured so many great moments- Julia sitting on my lap, Shaila bursting Julia’s bubble about fact checking and “respectable” main stream media, and the genuine community response to the Mark Zuckerberg / Sarah Lacy keynote disaster….it’s worth watching the video as well.

Download the full podcast (60 minutes)

Click To Play

During my SXSW panel, “Gossip,” tech scene gossip-ee Julia Allison booed Chief Valleywag and gossiper Owen Thomas, then ended up joining our panel, sitting on my lap and became part of a carousing, unpredictable conversation that was twittered, liveblogged on Valleywag twice while it went on. Lane Becker called it “The best panel I’ve ever been to at SXSW.”

Until I can get it up in the nav, I’ll just let you know here: If you’d like to support my work, donate via paypal nosh at subvert.com. Thanks to JoCo for the inspiration to ask.

Join web designer Jeff Veen, Intersex activist Thea Hillman and microfinance expert April Rinne as the Heather Gold Show explores the concept of Service and balancing one’s own needs with the needs of others.

Download the full podcast (94 minutes)

In looking at the Obama blog I’m noticing people doing a blogwave, basically posting one letter and then trusting the next person to spell the next letter and so on. Usually Yes We Can!

Has anyone seen this before on a blog? It’s a really interesting method of trust and connection through fun + vulnerability in a digital space.How’s that for analyzing the crap out of something fun. It’s like analyzing a joke, I know. 

It’s not that I’ve never had anything to hide, I just can’t handle hiding anything. I found this out in grade five.

Read Elementary School Confessions…

My story is part of the first Fray Quarterly: Busted! now published as a lovely book by the lovely, bearded Derek Powazek whose work inspired a lot of my focus on the marriage of media and interactive community.

Me: I’m finding the time leading up to our wedding very romantic.

Mum: You guys are doing it the right way. You already know each other. [We’ve been together for 5 and lived together for 3.] In my day it was “What have I gotten myself into.” You can just enjoy it.

Mum is right. In terms of relationships, we’re all shareware now.