Posted via email from heathergold’s posterous

1. “No one will listen to me.”

2. “I don’t have anything to say that matters.”

3. Fear they will upset someone or that they will be criticized.

4. “These guys act as if they know everything, when they don’t. But I don’t know enough to speak.”

5. No one asked me or invited me.

Many women, not to mention anyone of colour or who does not fit into the the existing image of authority held by attention centre gatekeepers are invisible to them. And if you’re not just like those who “already matter,” you probably have to live in translation in order to gain attention from these gatekeepers.

6. Not having someone in their life (ie role traditionally cast with wife, girlfriend, mother) to encourage them and emotionally take care of them when they risk and fall working for public influence.

7. “I learned to shut up in public in grade 6.” (in order to be liked by boys-if they liked boys- or blend in)

8. “If I want to be popular or influential, isn’t that selfish and egotistical?”

This is a subset of fear of wanting. If you want, then you exist some way other than relationally. If no one is there to affirm your own desires and wants…do they exist?

9. “I have more important things to worry about.”

The profound satisfaction of strong and intimate bonds of close family and friends seem much more valuable to many women than trading this mode of connection for public influence. I believe the skills and most of all *caring* that make these strong bonds possible are actually necessary to create growing public influence now.

10. “This crap is obvious to me. Why do I have to shoot my mouth about it in public? I could just be doing something.”

Who is more likely to get something done without asking for public credit? Women or men?

How do they get the nest to stay on such a tiny branch?

Posted via email from heathergold’s posterous

Posted by email from heathergold’s posterous

Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper was re-elected with a minority government about a month ago. But he might lose his job any day now. He’s managed, like George W Bush, to unite everyone else against him. At least that’s my understanding after my brother explained it to me. Canada’s politics has started to sound like a dramatic nerd reality show, with a special guest role starring President-elect Obama. The whole thing is crazy, which is why I was about the 8th person to ask my political wonk brother to explain it all to me in one of Canada’s two official languages. I’m posting the answer so that other confused Canadians and bemused onlookers can get benefit. This way, Jordy doesn’t have to explain it again.

Heads up for non-Canadians: In Canada the Liberals are the name of a political party and the Conservatives believe in national health care.

Here’s the button-down versionwith reporting and stuff from Canada’s best paper.

"Gay in India?"

Originally uploaded by subvert.com

We walked by the Taj Hotel. We were offered to be white for pay by a Bollywood casting dude. This is common. No, we couldn’t afford to stay there. We just hung out in the lobby, as our western selves craved a no honk zone.

The casting dude simply could not believe that we were gay or that India had anyone gay in it. (Me: “You’ve got 1 billion people?” Him: “Yes.” Me: “You’ve got gays.”) Didn’t he check out the outfits on the star of Love Story 2050?

I see white people

I talk to the guy who tried to cast us as white extras in a Bollywood movie. This is a typical experience for white people in Mumbai. Taped in front of the Taj Hotel which was burned by terrorists last night who also seemed to be looking for white people.

We visited the synagogue in Mumbai last summer. There are very few Jews left in Mumbai and the man who takes care of the shul told us it is difficult to regularly have a Minyan (10 males of age – this is an orthodox community). Most Indian Jews from Mumbai moved to Israel he said.