Getting over my fear of blogging
Ever since Carmen Dunjko told me at mb5 in 2000, that she'd really like to read and hear my regular, opinionated takes on things, I've been thinking about posting regularly to subvert.
So that's 6 years of thinking about it. Feeling it's a good idea. But it didn't do it until now. Why?
- I am used to published polished pieces. Would this writing come across as unprofessional?
- If I "blow my wad" on an idea in a blog, would I be able to sell it to publications or in later performances?
- Blogging became trendy. That's enough reason for any person who ever felt like an outsider (ok, boil down that generalization and you get me) to avoid doing something. People told me that Burning Man would change my life for 5 years so I refused to go. Growing up Jewish in a small place, evangelism was not my friend (I did later get over myself and went to Burning Man and met my girlfriend, now fiancée, but that's another story for another post).
- What if I couldn't keep it up every day. I don't want to commit to something I can't follow through on. Jason Kottke explained to me last week that I could "let my readers/watchers" know what to expect–that I'd only post as often as I could. So I'm letting you all know now that I'm not sure if I'll be posting bi-weekly. Maybe 5 times a day. Probably at least once ever two weeks.
- I couldn't figure out how to organize. Is it ok to not have a strict topical focus? subvert and my comedy cover so many topics. Will a business audience that wants to read my media analysis and Open Source Management ideas freak out about my gay marriage or sex postings? Will I want to write jokes every day? Can I write about a bunch of different things? Can I still say fuck? Once again Jason Kottke saved me. It's all about the connecting. So I've just decided not to worry about it. If I'm going to sing the praises of openness and inclusion and honesty, no sense in censoring or making silos. (And how did corporate business decide to use farming metaphors?)
- Once video really hit the Net I knew that I couldn't keep avoiding the blog. This is why I was interested in the Net in the first place. I first learned about it in 1994, right after working for New Line Cinema and thought "this is how it's not going to be up to just 5 guys in Hollywood to decide what gets distributed." So I committed to video blogging and I signed a deal with the new video start-up dabble to be their spokesperson and regular video blogger.
- For a long while, overanalysing and worrying about future problems felt like doing something (hey, between being Jewish and law school, this is a piece of phantom logic that is really hard to completely break).
- I went to SXSW last week and did both of my shows Cookie, The Law Project and an Open Source Management panel. All three audiences plus random people in the hall kept asking me to blog. I could stand my own hypocrisy no more. I wanted to continue conversations that I was starting.
- I've realized that avoiding blogging was becoming more energy consuming than actually doing it. So here I am, out of the blogging closet. I can't wait to hear from you.
March 23rd, 2006 at 8:25 am
Hey Heather,
Welcome to the blogosphere! Nice meeting you last week. Great interview!
–Bryan
March 24th, 2006 at 9:14 pm
Most excellent news, Heather. Don't think! Just write ;)
March 25th, 2006 at 8:22 am
Your first post is causing me considerable cognitive dissonance.
On the one hand, we have the moderator of a serious SXSW panel who spent a fair chunk of the session LYING FLAT ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE PODIUM, SPEAKING WITH AN AUDIENCE THAT CAN'T SEE HER.
On the other hand, we have the person who wrote: "I am used to published polished pieces.Would this writing come across as unprofessional?"
Which one of you is the impostor?
Seriously, it was fun speaking with you for 30 seconds after your insane but useful panel. Best wishes with your marriage.
March 25th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Hi Wright,
I am truly complimented–"insane but useful". Can't wait to promote that to IBM :-)
To respond to your cognitive dissonance: I am human and therefore a contradiction :-) Or perhaps its I'm full of contradictions and therefore human.
The heart of it is that one of the reasons I love live performance is that I allow myself to be completely present and in the flow which seems to lead to comedy for me. My writing process (without others) has been more inhibited by my personal anxieties about perfection and a desire to have everything figured out before I "put it out there."
Hey I'm not just an advocate of Open Source Management (OSM) . Open business / Open Living At All Times, I'm someone who needs ministering too.
Reading Kevin Kelly's site (he is posting his writing for a book as he does it) as well as the inspirations I cited above helped me feel I could try to write/video (coming shortly) on this blog as I perform.
You have a double architectur-ally great name. Thanks for participating in the panel!
March 25th, 2006 at 11:16 pm
Welcome to the world of blogging and eventual and inevitable blogaddiction. Remember, the most important step is admitting that you have a problem. Best thing about blogging is creating a community, and expanding that audience…you're on your way, kid!
March 26th, 2006 at 9:34 am
Heather, regarding your comment above, you're the first person (except Google, and she's not a person, even though we might occasionally detect a personality within her mighty server bank) to ever mention the Wright & Sullivan architectural connection.
Maybe you're not a person. Maybe you're a server bank? Maybe that's why you moderate while lying on the floor?
My comments about your panel moderation and my cognitive dissonance are playful kidding only. It definitely was a fun session and I think it was very worthwhile (I recall more from that session than most others). Some of the audience was bemused while some were bewildered, but you got loads of them engaged in the discussion, and that was the whole point.
Yes, we are all full of contradictions galore. Ain't life grand?
I too am more cautious about what I write than what I say. I edit edit edit, polish, and then publish (or send or submit comment or whatever suits the medium). I agonize over phrasing, then if I re-read it the next day I always see my words as unclear crap in desperate need of editing.
OK, this comment stream is fully baked. No need to reply here, but thanks for your earlier reply.
p.s. Love that "SUBVERT.COM" domain name.