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Getting some nerve back: nature + faith

ulnar nerve palsyEver since my accident last October, I haven’t been able to feel my pinky finger on my left hand, or part of the ring finger, or the front and back of the hand below those fingers.How big a deal is a pinky finger you might ask?I might have thought it wasn’t that big a deal before I lost the ability to feel and really use mine.You’d be amazed at how often you use that finger. Among other things, I now know I would use it to:cutting your foodholding a wineglassrock climbingplaying hockeydriving the carputting on a ponytailclappingholding handsholding anythingquality lesbian sexkeyboardingWestern medicine calls what I have ulnar nerve palsy. Turns out that our nerves supply the charge to your muscles. Without that charge, the muscles atrophy (check out the big scoop between my thumb and forefinger and then look at your own). All this means that after months and months of therapy I now have a left hand that’s about half as strong as my right hand and nowhere near as delft or agile.So what do the doctors have to say about all this Will it come back to normal?They’re quite succinct: “we don’t know.”Other than physically manipulating my fingers every day so that they don’t stay too “clawed” (as you can see) when the nerve comes back, there’s not much to do.Not having anything to do or any knowledge if I’m going to get this back has been difficult. i’ve seen a holistic chiropractor who has encouraged me to hum to send energy down the fluid around the nerve. I’ve also been encouraged to imagine / visualize using my left hand normally as well as my right hand to keep the neural pathways open and healing. One energy healer at a party did reiki on it and another friend prayed for it.Energy healing is a frickin hilarious punchline, until you need it (ok, even if you need it, it’s still pretty funny).Basically I’ve stepped into the large void in which science has not yet given us answers. And so what is there? Faith. Faith that it will come back, that my attitude and belief can help make that happen.I have chosen that for the very rational reason that it’s the only thing I can do and I very much wish to do something. Holding the attitude of “we’ll see whatever the hell happens to my hand happens” is not so comforting.In the off chance there is some yet-to-be-charted quantum affect of my attitude and mental decision affecting my body’s healing, then I certainly have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing it.I suppose that goes for the prayer and the energy healing too.The great news is that this week’s EMG revealed that my nerve has regenerated some. Why this has happened I don’t know. Medicine doesn’t seem to know either. They conjecture that the surgery relieved some pressure on the nerve. But do I now look to science and faith to encourage the rest of whatever healing I’ll get.All science has to say to me at the moment is, “I don’t know” and “You’ll get whatever you’re going to get within 18 months of the surgery” which was last March.Is faith just a way of approaching what science can’t yet explain?My belief and mind can say whatever I choose to have them say.I choose full recovery.What do you think?

4,556 Responses to “Getting some nerve back: nature + faith”

  1. T7L70 Says:

    I was diagnosed with cubital tunnel syndrome apprx. 1 month ago, I have had severe syptoms for roughly 3 months (my hand looking exactly like yours in blog pictures), I just had surgery last monday 6/30/08.

    nerve transposition…. heres what i look like today
    http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh73/T7L70/mynotsofunnybone.jpg

    lets see if all this pain, and, soon to be, long road of recovery, was worth my time,…. I sure hope so

  2. taylor Says:

    well im 13 turning 14 and my left pinkie is all numb and some times my left ring finger goes numb too, also my middle finger ring finger and pinkie is like curved and i cant put them strait. i dont no whats wrong with them but i think i might have this. should i go see a doctor?

  3. Alex Says:

    Hi Taylor, yes! Go see a doctor. They will reffer you to a neurologist to do some nerve tests in your arm. It will not hurt, but it will let you know where to go next and what is wrong. My 4th and 5th (dumb and pinkie) fingers no longer function. they are permanantly closed and I cannot stretch them. I was going to have the same surgery T7L70 (thanks for sharing BTW), but I have been diagnosed with MS so “phisically” decompressing my Ulnar Nerve will not help me. Maybe your doctor will recomend an MRI. Search Google for “Ulnar Claw Hand” or similar terms, you will get some good info! let us know and much luck to you!
    …T7L70… give us an update! Did you have th eUlnar Nerve Decompressed? is your hand better?

  4. jen mil Says:

    I cut through my ulnar nerves with glass..:( skateboarding..the rushed me to the ER bleeding alot…sewed me up and sent me on my way 3 months later the hand looked like a claw no feeling in eaither finger…throbbing pain..no movement i had ulnar repair surgery on the two fingers leaving a scar all the way from the top of my palm to like 4 inches down my wrist two tubes were placed to converge the gap between the two nerves and eventually the nerves supposed to grow around it and reconnect to the other side giving me function its a bummmmer:( everyday things seem to be alot more difficult..i want to go into the coast guard faith seems like the only path for me at this time waiting and hoping for Gods healing…..btw my hand looks exactly like urs!

  5. Gabby311 Says:

    I cut the palm of my hand at work, polishing a wine glass. I had to get some stitches. Ever since the numbing agent wore off, I can not feel my pinky and ring finger. It was about 2 weeks ago. Its numb, but if I rub my fingers its painful. No one understands and thinks I am nuts. Could I get a settlement if it is a forever problem, you think?

    They say if I cannot feel my fingers, how does it hurt? I really don’t know, but it does. Can you get something for pain, it hurts?

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